Thursday, October 4, 2012

what they've taught me this time...holding hands


Today we were reminiscing about when Rylee learned to walk... at the early age of 16 months! Since she was probably 11 months old she could walk but would only do so if she was holding somebodies hand. At that stage we were anxious to see her take off on her own and make some strides unassisted. Thinking back, that was a precious time. Now our speedy toddler has to be convinced and reminded over and over to hold our hand. I miss holding her hand.

Rylee is and has been growing more and more independent. Its awesome and it breaks my heart all at the same time. My heart swells to watch her grow, learn, and discover how capable she is to do all sorts of new things without help, and at the same time I am shrinking inside to think that she is all too quickly becoming less dependent on me.

As adults (and for me my whole life) we walk with confidence and like to shed an appearance that says "I've got this all under control" right?!...

Somewhere in the midst of adolescence we lose our desire and our need to be dependent. We start living under the false idea that we can do it all by myself. One of my biggest struggles when facing any sort of struggle is giving up and leaning completely on Christ. My children teach me something everyday, and today I've learned that I need to become more dependent, not just more dependent but completely dependent. God desires for us to depend on Him fully. I know I need my Father but more often than not I am the child trying to let go of His hand while yelling "I can do it by myself!"

Today I am praying to become ever more dependent. Holding onto his hand tightly. Not taking a single step without Him.

Is independence a struggle for you? What brings you back to leaning fully on Christ?

until next time,

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