Saturday, October 9, 2010

reality

"I do nothing all day, but still I can't seem to find the time to get anything done"

That is exactly how I would describe my life right now.  Over at Jenloveskev they just welcomed into the world little baby Rowan and the quote above is how another mom explained her feelings of parenthood to Jen. Though I could never put it into words - that has been the constant disturbing feeling that has lingered over me since becoming mom.

I knew since before pregnancy that I wanted to be a full time - stay at home mom, that would be my job - I just pictured it a little bit differently... I had this idea that I would always keep the house clean, the bed would be made everyday, dinner and maybe lunch too would be cooked daily, the laundry would never pile out of control...and maybe I could even iron something before I decided to wear it, I could walk the dogs, possibly get in a good refreshing run, read a book, comment on parenting blogs, always have stamps to mail out the bills, bake cookies on a regular basis, have fun experimenting with my decorating ideas and of course take a nice shower and wear my hair in any way but a messy bun all while caring deeply, compassionately, more lovingly, and educationally too for little Rylee...

I guess I was completely delusional because in reality I usually only get one of those things done in the day and that's lovin' on Rylee, and maybe two if putting a frozen pizza in the oven counts as cooking dinner.

I have learned in this process that even though I was completely wrong on my perception of being a stay at home mom I was right about one thing, I love it. I am so thankful that we have the means to make it possible for me to have a job taking care of Rylee. Because at the end of the day if loving on her is all I got done, then the day was all worth it.

until next time,
Brit
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